If life gives you lemons...

 

- Lemonade -

 The thing that's the most dangerous is to not do anything. That's the worst possible thing you can do.

Three weeks ago, I attempted to make one of my dreams come true. It's a long shot, sure, but I'm hoping I hit it right on the money. All I had to do was to put a little something together, submit it, and see what happens. I put it off for the longest time for two main reasons -- I didn't think I'd make it and I didn't want to feel the pain of being rejected. AGAIN. I've attempted to do this in the past, you see. Back then, I was a little insecure (and a little embarrassed, to be honest  with you, to be attempting to do something like that) that even if I was thisclose to getting the job, I didn't even share that almost good news with anyone because I did not want to deal with telling them I actually didn't get it (in case I didn't.) And THAT, methinks, contributed to why I didn't get it. Get it?

You can just incorporate more of what you love into your everyday. And it makes the biggest difference in the world.

It's been two years since that debacle. Again, I found myself thinking about what the heck I was doing with my life and where this was all going career-wise. After asking myself what I really wanted to do, I ended up with the same answer. (Even if I thought I had accepted the fact that it wasn't meant to be.) So, I filled up on positive vibes, pushed out all the negativity and the doubts, and decided to give the lemons one more squeeze. 

If you've had an idea... If there's something you've always wanted to do. Now is the time to do it. Even if you think you don't have what it takes to do it. JUST DO IT.

That's exactly how I felt and that's exactly what I did. You see, I've always believed that in ten or twenty years, I'll probably regret the things that I didn't do more than the things that I did do. (Yes, I read that on a notebook cover somewhere.) But more importantly, I ACTUALLY WANT THIS TO HAPPEN. Universe, I really want this to happen.

 Sometimes, there are things you love to do that you forget about. So put your energy in the things that you love. Put all the energy that you can into those things and see what happens.

For now, that's all I can really do anyway --- see what happens. That and hope I actually make some good lemonade this time around.

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All quotes are from the documentary, Lemonade, which was created by Eric Proulx and directed by Marc Colucci. If you don't know what to do with your life, I suggest you start by watching this film.

Day 02: Your Least Favorite Song

Taralets by Imago

Disclaimer: I have nothing against the band, Imago. I just don't like this song very much, that's all. If you do, I suggest you skip to my next blog post. Heee.

After 3 whole months, I finally post Day 2 of this meme. Zorreh.

Okay, like I said, I have nothing against the band, Imago. (I actually like their songs, some of which are part of my Red Box/Music Zone repertoire.) But there's just something about this song that makes me cringe. Not just. It makes me want to pull my hair out. It's not the lyrics. I'm not even sure what the song is entirely about. But there's something about the melody that just makes me go...

When I hear the stanzas or anything leading up to the chorus, my face starts to twitch. When the actual chorus comes, I feel like getting extremely violent.

This song brings out such negative vibes in me that this is actually the reason why I couldn't go on to post Day 2 right away. (I'm not making an excuse, I swear!) Something about this song just rubs me the wrong way so much, I didn't want to write or even think about it. Again, it's not the band, it's the song. (Is there a difference? Yes.)

Now, I can finally move on with this meme.

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Image credits: Charlie Brown

BEST. TWEET. EVER.

It warms the inside just like it should.

Melee - Built to Last [lyrics]

It's good to be in love. Just sayin'. :)

Day 01: Your Favorite Song

 Here Comes the Sun by The Beatles

 

Ahh my favorite song by my favorite Beatle. It's impossible to not smile when you hear this song. It paints a perfect picture of your first glimpse of the sun after a heavy rain or the warmth of its glow on your skin early in the morning. I don't remember when I first heard this song, but I do remember getting incredibly attached to it the same way I was and am still attached to B.J. Thomas' "Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head." I apparently like songs that contain metaphors about nature.

"Here Comes the Sun" reminds me of that very brief moment when a smile turns into laughter. Or that moment you realize that that painstaking situation was actually a blessing in disguise. Or that feeling of warmth after watching Love Actually. ♥ That made you smile just now, didn't it? :)

"...and I say, it's all right." ♫

Because every day (and night) needs a soundtrack ♫

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!

As I am totally spacing out on topics to write about, I have decided to take on the 30 Day Song Challenge. I've already started doing this on Facebook, but since there's not enough room to write much about my choices, I thought why not post 'em here? ^_^

Should you wish to join me, you can check out the guide here:

day 01 - your favorite song
day 02 - your least favorite song
day 03 - a song that makes you happy
day 04 - a song that makes you sad
day 05 - a song that reminds you of someone
day 06 - a song that reminds you of somewhere
day 07 - a song that reminds you of a certain event
day 08 - a song that you know all the words to
day 09 - a song that you can dance to
day 10 - a song that makes you fall asleep
day 11 - a song from your favorite band
day 12 - a song from a band you hate
day 13 - a song that is a guilty pleasure
day 14 - a song that no one would expect you to love
day 15 - a song that describes you
day 16 - a song that you used to love but now hate
day 17 - a song that you hear often on the radio
day 18 - a song that you wish you heard on the radio
day 19 - a song from your favorite album
day 20 - a song that you listen to when you’re angry
day 21 - a song that you listen to when you’re happy
day 22 - a song that you listen to when you’re sad
day 23 - a song that you want to play at your wedding
day 24 - a song that you want to play at your funeral
day 25 - a song that makes you laugh
day 26 - a song that you can play on an instrument
day 27 - a song that you wish you could play
day 28 - a song that makes you feel guilty
day 29 - a song from your childhood
day 30 - your favorite song at this time last year

Ready? Let's gooooo!

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Image credits: Barney Stinson

It's just one of 'em days.

Take the phone off the hook and disappear for a while.

One of the best "telephone scenes" on film (Before Sunrise)

Speaking of phone conversations (and therefore telephones and therefore cellphones and therefore modern communication enabling technologies,) I unearthed this entry from my previous blog and would like to re-share it. Originally written on June 2, 2006, most of the original blog entry is still quite current. Most. I edited some things here and there, too.

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"Modern communication enabling technologies will only heighten your sense of desolation by making you more keenly aware of the fact that no one is trying to call." -WKW

He's really a genius, that Kar-wai. It's funny in a painful kind of way because there's truth in it. How many times have you heard a person say "Ay. Walang nagmamahal sakin" when he/she checks his/her cell and sees that there are no messages or missed calls?

While we're on the subject, let's take a look at texting. I myself have fallen victim at times to its codes. I used to get all paranoid about a lack of punctuation or a smiley face. How sad. It's annoying how a "u" with an umlaut (I don't know the ASCII code for this) or just the presence of a period can mean the difference between "everything's fine and dandy" and "something's wrong." Can't it just be that we're being grammatically correct? (Oh, don't even get me started on how texting has slowly deteriorated the literacy of its users, especially the younger ones. I did a whole paper on that back in college.)

Sometimes, I have half a mind to throw the concept of having a cellphone out the window. The feeling usually doesn't last very long.

Plus, it's sad to think that the very device that's supposed to promote and enable communication can also be the exact device to bring people apart. Tsk. 

Two words, people. GEN LOSS. (Well, one is an abbreviation, but still.)

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Except for the literacy deterioration part, I really don't feel that strongly about texting or cellphones anymore. I think I've learned to develop a way of understanding how certain people text or communicate. Either that or I just learned not to care.

Now while we're on the topic, enjoy this delicious cover of Telephone by Pomplamoose:

Hello, yeah it's been a while. Not much. How 'bout you?*

I told myself I'd write at least two entries per month in this blog. My last entry was in January. Posts since then? Nada.

I'd like to say it was because of a long bout of writer's block, but... I was just lazy. Sorry, blog.

A lot has happened since then. I celebrated my birthday. I went to Boracay and to the US. I drank three four loyalty coupons worth of Serenitea. I ate A LOT. I documented the past month through pictures (some of which I was supposed to post here, but... >.<) I'll start to fill this up again by importing entries I made in past blogs. I know, I know. It's not the same. But hey, baby steps.

Wait. Why am I explaining myself?

OTL

And now, just because I want to post this:

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*Before Lady Gaga, Dan Seals was the master of writing phone-conversation simulated song lyrics. Yes, there is such a thing. I made it up just now.

Making a list, checking it thrice.

First of all, I wish everyone an awesome 2011! :D

Okay, now for my longest blog entry ever...

I'm turning 30 in 3 years. As much as I don't want to be emotional and crazy about it, it has got me thinking. I always thought that I'd be married by the time I was 25, and by now I'd probably have my first child. By 30, I'd have a little family of my own. I thought I'd be working for a company I love for at least 5 years. I would've travelled to several (okay, not several but maybe a few) countries by then.

But as life inevitable throws us curve balls most of the time, I am quite far away from that.

Don't get me wrong. I may be far away, but I'm not in a bad place. Not at all. Quite the opposite, really. I have my lovely family, my health, a new job that I'm starting to really, really love, I have my good, good friends, and I have never been happier. I must say, I'm still on the right track. Just a few years behind.

Nevertheless, it would be nice to have a more concrete plan. So here I am, creating a list of must-dos before I turn 30.  This is a very tailored list, so none of those "know my life's direction" yada yada yada. That's already a given. No shoulda, woulda, couldas by the time I get to the big 3-0.

So without further ado, I now present to you my "30 before 30" list:

• Go to Japan.  Cherry blossoms. Studio Ghibli Museum. OH TOKYO. Lost in Translation moments. THE FOOD. Need I say more?
• Catch up on Ghibli.  Speaking of the Studio Ghibli Museum, I must catch up on my Ghibli watching. I'm not even saying how many I've seen. I just have to watch all of them by the time I head over to the land of the rising sun.
• Write a children's book. This has always been a frustration of mine, and so far all I have is a title. So by hook or by crook, I shall do this before the deadline.
• Get promoted. I've never stayed long enough at a company to get promoted. I always felt like the administrations I'd been working for had principles way different from mine. Let's just leave it at that. I'm very lucky to have found a company now that looks in the same direction as I do. To make things even better, I love everything else about it: my learners, my colleagues, my bosses, my office, and my schedule. So, I'm hoping I stay here a while. Or more. :)
• Maintain my rule of thirds. As I do each item on the list, I'll be crossing them off here. I just hope this blog's around for three more years to document everything. 

• Be someone's official girlfriend (and have him be proud of it.) I will always, always be first and foremost a cheesy hopeless romantic. I'm seriously starting to think that that's not a very good thing. So before I get totally jaded, I will be with the Nick to my Norah, the Joel to my Clementine, the Bob to my Charlotte... (I was about to say the Tom to my Summer, but...)
• Be able to declare my love for someone if and whenever I want to. Note the parenthetical expression above. Now, lemme elaborate on this one. I'm not one to care about what other people (except my family) think of my relationship. I don't need his status to be declared "in a relationship" with me. I don't need him to introduce me as his girlfriend to every single person he sees. *BUT* I do need to know that if he wanted to do all those public declarations of luuuurve, he could. Then knowing that he could do that, I'll be able to do this item as well. Again, I don't *have* to do all those things either. It's just nice to know that if I wanted to, I could. (I've never been able to do this, so this is quite a big deal for me... and therefore part of this list. *bow*)
• Slow dance. I've always thought that slow dancing is one of the most romantic things any couple can do. There's something about the closeness and the music and knowing that the music is not going to last for a long time so you have to take advantage of the moment to say everything at the right time... *catches breath*...along with the music and the closeness. I love it, too, because it's one of those moments when you actually have a soundtrack.  Sure, I've slow danced before, but not slow danced, slow danced.  Just "debut-slow danced." That doesn't count.
• Write at least three more songs.  So far, I've written... two. And I don't even remember how the first one goes. I always think I have a good idea to write a song about, but it always, always remains that way -- an idea. 
• Submit a demo. I was once considered to be a newscaster at a certain radio station. (Made it to the third screening.) Then, I was thisclose (okay, maybe this   close) to passing an audition as a DJ at another. I just feel like if I don't give this one more shot, I'll regret it for the rest of my life. I'm not keeping my hopes up, but at least I won't kick myself in the ass ten years from now for not giving it one last shot.

• Go to Boracay once a year. My friends started this tradition about two years ago. I had the opportunity to join them for the first time last year. It was a one-of-a-kind experience. We have one of the most beautiful beaches in the whole world. Why not take advantage of that? 
• Bring my family to Tuscany. No, not that Tuscany. I wish! (Give me a few more years, maybe? Hehe.) There's this little place called Marcia Adams' in Tagaytay that is just love. My family, especially my mom, would love it there, methinks. 
• Classroom-teach again. Preferably literature. I love my current job, but sometimes, I miss teaching in front of people you can actually see and interact with. I'd love to classroom-teach again. Just part-time.   
• Financially invest in something.  Aside from my trip to Japan, I plan to invest in something. Like a house. Or a... I haven't really decided yet.
• Reach my target savings fund.  So far, so good.

• Learn to cook a kick-ass savory dish.  As of this moment, I can't cook to save my life. Like cook, cook. Sure, I make a mean mango float (Oh yes, I do.) but my cooking "prowess" just about ends there.  I'm thinking I'll study making a mean pasta dish... Whaaat? Baby steps, baby steps.
• Learn to make BTS. I need to add more to the list of desserts I can make. Learning to make BTS will bring the grand total of desserts I can make to... two. 
• Try exotic (and I mean, exotic) cuisine. Like rabbit or bear or rotten shark. GAH. One of my favorite topics to talk about with my students is food. As most of them come from France, I always hear stories about rabbits, horses, ducks, and frogs. Not as pets. This has certainly piqued my interest in waaay exotic cuisine. Where do I find this here, though? Any suggestions?
• Learn to put on make-up.  I don't wear full-on make-up often. Only when I have to. And when I do have to, I have my make-up done at a salon.  It would be nice to be able to know how to do this on my own, though. I have a feeling I'll be attending some weddings in the next few years. ;)
• Throw a party. I've always wanted to throw a big (okay, medium-sized) birthday party. The last time I had a party was almost 10 years ago. During the past 3 or 4 years, I found myself in between jobs during my birth month so I didn't really feel too comfortable spending my savings on a party then. Now that the situation has changed, I think I'll be able to throw that medium-sized birthday party on my 28th. :D

• Find my next "Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist," "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind," "(500) Days of Summer," or "Lost in Translation." I've watched all these films more than 5 times each. (Nick and Norah holds the record at 12.) I can't wait to find the next film that'll make me want to watch it over and over and over and over...
• Watch a kick-ass concert or gig.  The last time I watched a gig that really got me high (a natural high) was back in my college days.  The band that brought about that indescribable feeling (soaring, tumbling, freewheeling?) has long since "disbanded," and I haven't found any replacements since then.
• Be in a band. We don't even have to play gigs. We could just jam at home whenever we wanted to. I'm sure I could get my natural high from this, too.
• Learn a new piano piece. The only pieces I can play by heart are "Beauty and Madness" by Fra Lippo Lippi and "Gone" by Jim Chappell.  I can also play the first half of "Ballad Pour Adeline" (aka the theme song of Lovingly Yours, Helen) and the intro of MacGyver's theme. Yes. I need to add more to my "repertoire."
• Do Project 365 in the year 2012 2013. I just have a feeling it's going to be kick-ass year. ;)

• Clean out my closet. It's a garage sale waiting to happen. Lezdothis. Let's make it happen.
• Get a physical. (Mind the article.) I don't like hospitals or clinics. I get woozy at the sight of blood. I get reaaaally uncomfortable when I have to take off articles of clothing for a check up. But yes, yes I know I have to get a physical again at my age. So there.
• Stop being such a worrywart./Stop overthinking things.  Two words. Analysis paralysis.
• Seize the day more often. *stands up on desk* Oh captain, my captain!
• Fold a thousand paper cranes. I've always been fond of origami, my masterpiece being a shrimp. Yes, a shrimp. Then, I became particularly fond of paper cranes after I encountered the story of Sadako. (No, not THAT one.) Borrowing an idea from a friend, I shall be decorating my future wedding with paper cranes, a thousand of which I folded myself (maybe with a little help from my future husband, too?) :D 

Here's to crossing off all these items before the big 3-0! (All I can cross for now are my fingers.)

Now... What's on YOUR list? :)

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All images are the property of the author unless otherwise stated here: Princess Mononoke, The Missing Piece Meets the Big O, Happy Fingers, Lost in Translation, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist, and Dead Poets' Society :)